Bone Tomahawk - with many spoilers

Bone Tomahawk seems to have flown under most people’s radar since it’s release in 2015, despite having an impressive cast. Written and directed by S. Craig Zahler (Brawl in cell block 99), the film combines comedy and horror elements in a typical Western setting.

The movie follows a band of four men living on the frontier who engage in a rescue mission to save a kidnapped lady, Mrs O’Dwyer who has been taken by an unusual tribe of ‘Indians’.

Verdict

My movie ratings consist of thumbs up or middle fingers as sometimes one starring something doesn’t shame it enough. 5 thumbs up = an absolute triumph. 5 middle fingers = a complete piece of shit, go fuck yourself.

Bone Tomahawk - 5 thumbs up My first 5 star movie rating! I can’t see a way this film could be improved upon. The director manages to create a rapport between the characters that gets the viewer genuinely invested in them, giving the suspenseful, action packed and sometimes grotesque scenes later on much more meaning and making it impossible to look away. No matter what horrors are occurring.

Favourite quote “Say goodbye to my Wife, I’ll say hello to yours” - The Sheriff’s last words to the old man he has grown so fond of. There’s a special moving sadness when a cowboy accepts his fate with quiet dignity…

Also not to be forgotten:

“I’m far too vein to live like a cripple” - Brooder talks the Sheriff and the old man into leaving him dynamite and a cigar for a suicide bomb attempt on the Troglodytes after he’s wounded. More quiet dignity.

“You’re pretty angry for a guy named Buddy”- The Sheriff interrogating the bandit that has wandered into the bar.

“Smart men don’t get married”- Brooder’s explanation for why he is the smartest of the group. Everyone seems to agree with his point.

Favourite scene

The audience's introduction to Brooder is wholly entertaining. After Brooder complains that the bar he’s in is too quiet he’s directed to a sleeping piano player to try and liven the place up. The piano player’s pricing structure is brought into question as playing three songs costs more than the price of one song would three times. The piano player explains it’s because he would be tired after playing two songs, so the third one costs more.

A close second is the sad moment where Brooder has to put down his horse after Mexican bandits have tried to steal it. This horse is Brooder’s only real companion, compounding the sadness. Further sad quiet dignity. I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Best meme from the movie

Analysis The only real complaint I have about my viewing experience of Bone Tomahawk is that it was interrupted at several stages by adverts for direct line car insurance. Lessons have been learned and I will never watch a film on All4 again. It was also displayed even more widescreen than my incredibly widescreen TV for some reason, leaving two thin black lines above and below the picture. Luckily the movie was so engrossing that this didn’t bother me for the full 2 hours. Lessons. Were. Learned.

Now, the meat. The core of this movie - the thing that sets it apart is the way it unfolds naturally, indulging only itself and doing nothing for the sake of the audience. It is a completely character lead tale and it draws strength from this. The plot is by no means flimsy but it is strengthened by the deep grasp the audience has on each character, who they are and what they’re about. You get to know each of the 4 main heroes through completely irrelevant conversations that are often endearing and always humorous. It has a Tarantino-esque feel to it of real conversations that would be happening whether you were watching or not. Rather than “Hi Sheriff, old man here reporting for duty, please explain today’s objective for our audience here and we’ll be on our way”, we meet the old man unsure what role he’ll have in the film via a conversation about bad smelling Tea, or soup to the rest of us.

These characters completely carry off the slow pacing of the film. Most of the movie takes part wandering the planes on the frontier, which could easily have become boring. The conversations and tensions between our band of heroes made this very enjoyable. The unspoken respect between the old man and the Sheriff, the uneasiness between Brooder and Mr O’Dwyer regarding Mrs O’Dwyer and the old man’s bickering with Brooder and admiration over ‘the German’ was so watchable that I think I could have watched a whole series of just that.

A lot of people may have been put off by the opening 20 minutes. The opening scene sets up the adventure and gives the whole film context (It is also a good indicator of how gory it will be) but after that it is quite a slow introduction to the film’s premise. After 20 minutes I couldn’t have named a single character apart from ‘Buddy’ who it became apparent had lied about his name. Worse still, I have now watched the entire movie and can only name Mrs 0‘Dwyer, Mr O’Dwyer and Brooder but feel I know all of the characters’ identities deeply. I consider this an absolute triumph. No character is there for the sake of it and no one is merely a plot device… except for perhaps ‘Nick’. I can also name Nick.

By the time the reconnaissance team actually meets the savage kidnappers; the Troglodytes, you’ve almost forgotten that’s what they’d set out to do. They have had to overcome so many things already; having their horses stolen by Mexicans, leaving a man behind after resetting his broken leg and even engineering a way around reading in the bath. When you do meet the Troglodytes however, they are genuinely quite frightening. Indian tribes in Western films don’t typically have all manner of tusks coming out of their faces and the ability to scream like a T-rex which is where the movie dips into horror and offers a genuinely scary foe. The scene where Nick meets his end makes it quite apparent that they’re everything you thought you were dreading, and worse. They are also not your average Indian tribe in general. They are a time forgotten stone age tribe that have developed separately to other Native Americans and have somehow learned how to implant kazoos into their throats.

One of the more shocking images near the end of the film is that of a few pregnant women the tribe have in the cave. They appear to have been blinded by having sticks poked into their eyes and have also had their arms and legs removed somehow. As Mr and Mrs O’Dwyer are fleeing the cave with the old man they see this and choose to spare them, perhaps to portray themselves as being more humane than their adversaries and only killing the people necessary to save themselves? God only knows why you’d leave blind amputees to starve to death in a cave after murdering the people providing their only source of food. Although it’s hard to judge anyone after they themselves have been that source of food.

The bottom line

It is the official opinion of the backup deputy that you should watch this movie. Watch it now. I’m still stuck on the frontier in my head where certain scenes are playing over and over and I’m remembering the fun times I never spent with the characters I now have come to miss. Unfortunately, THAT scene hasn’t quite left me either.