The Terminator - with many spoilers

The Terminator is the science fiction action adventure movie that is often cited for launching James Cameron’s career as a Sci-fi director and Arnold Schwarzenegger's career as a leading man. The film was a box office smash which of course meant it was awarded a sequel, and another sequel, and another sequel, and another sequel, and then just when you thought it was safe to return to the cinema without running into a cardboard cutout of an aging Schwarzenegger, yet another sequel was released last year (2019). There are currently 6 movies in the franchise. The second, Terminator 2: Judgement day was considered better than the first movie, which is perhaps why it’s faithful audience were sentenced to death by sequels.

The film wastes no time, spelling out the plot immediately with a screen of text. That plot being that machines have gone wild in the tech mad future (2029) but have lost a war due to a man named John Connor who doesn’t exist yet. Thus, his mother-to-be must be murdered in the present (1984).

Verdict

My movie ratings consist of thumbs up or middle fingers as sometimes one starring something doesn’t shame it enough. 5 thumbs up = an absolute triumph. 5 middle fingers = a complete piece of shit, go fuck yourself.

The Terminator - 3 thumbs up The Terminator has not aged well but it does have a captivating story-line and serves as a great example of cheesy 80’s cinema.

Favourite quote “That son of a bitch took my pants” - The Tramp in one of the opening scenes having his trousers wrestled off by the naked man sent back to save Sarah Connor; Kyle Reese.

It also wouldn’t be fair not to mention the lines that are as famous as the movie itself:

“Come with me if you want to live” - Kyle Reese talking to Sarah Connor for the first time.

“I’ll be back” - Arnold Schwarzenegger referring to the multiple sequels he hoped to star in.

Favourite scene

Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese have escaped the wrath of the Terminator once more after he ransacks a police station trying to kill her. The pair escape to the woods where they rest for the night and the director takes this opportunity to explore an emotional connection between the two characters. Sarah Connor shows empathy over the bullet wound Reese has acquired and he moans on predictably about war. Then they both fall asleep which launches into a long, action filled dream sequence depicting an undercover terminator murdering a lot of innocent people in hiding. He is already awake as Sarah Connor wakes up with the line “I was dreaming about dogs”. This out of place nonsense made me spit my beer out laughing. Later, in the last scene of the movie Sarah has followed her dreams and gets a pooch of her own.

Best meme from the movie

Analysis Time has not worked in this film’s favour. 2029 is only 9 years away now and the scenes filmed resembling this post apocalyptic time look like they were filmed in the local Laser Quest. The scenes depicting ‘now’ are set in 1984, and are nostalgic yet unrelatable which adds a huge comedy element to the film and makes it enjoyable in ways in which it wasn’t intended.

The comedy derived from the 80’s setting is there right from the off. The Terminator first appears naked and in need of clothes. Who does he run into? Punks. The notorious bad guys from every 80’s movie. Not being alive through much of the 80’s I can neither confirm nor deny that every criminal running amok on every street corner and down every alley was, in fact, a ‘no good Punk’ but it seems that cinema has moved on to less cartoonified, more realistic villains these days. Not the kind with blue spiky hair and a tyre mark running down their face.

Some of the most disappointing special effects to look at now are the ones that the movie was renowned for at the time. The famous scene Where Arnie cuts his eye out with a scalpel revealing his inner terminator was considered horrifying and even scary at the time. Now the scene is laughable. Instead of a surgical scalpel he uses a knife he obviously bought from Hobbycraft and the big fake head with the eye missing barely even resembles Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Something that does work really well is the film’s shift from action/adventure to a horror styled ending. The switch in pace provides a captivating final battle between the Terminator, Kyle Reese and Sarah Connor and drives the point home that this machine will never stop trying to kill you, even if it has no skin, no legs or is on fire. It’s only worthy opponent in a hydraulic press.

The story however, is problematic in itself. How could the man John Connor sent back in time also be his father? This was a very predictable twist in the movie but also; just how? We’ll ignore the fact that John Connor is trapped in a time loop of having to continually send one of his mates back in time to bang his mom in order to exist. It just doesn’t make sense - in order for the time loop to exist at all it had to happen once pre time travel, and John Connor had to exist in that instance. How did he exist before his father was born for the first time? Was his Father the first time around different to his Father the second time around the loop? Making John Connor two at least half different people? Did Sarah hold out a little while the first time and peado the shit out of Reese… except, he was born after the war? What exactly is going on here, Cameron? Maybe it’s explained in the sequels. I won’t be watching them to find out.

The bottom line

Most things about this movie are bad. There’s no doubt about it; The dialogue is cheesy, the effects are laughable and I definitely have questions about the weird sexy time loop. It is however, a classic. When this film was released it was groundbreaking and the fact it is still an enjoyable watch despite looking dated speaks volumes. I would recommend this film and the second one to anyone. Maybe give up after that.