Kung fu hustle.

By Geoff Powell

Right it’s been a while since I’ve seen this film but I remember loving it the first time I watched it. Hopefully the same is true for the second time round.

The first thing that strikes me is how slick and cool the production, acting and characters are. This is unusual for a Kung fu film you usually get cool characters but not all 3.

So we start off with a gang war that’s only going to end one way. Then many men dancing with axes! The axe gang.

Only the poorest community’s can live in peace from the gangs.

We see a bit of daily life in the slums. We see the land lord doing his daily round but his wife is the power behind the throne.

Trouble at the barbershop! A local hustler try’s to blackmail a barber and bites off more than he can handle. Thing spiral out of control and he gets the axe gang involved. But this isn’t your normal slum. It’s filled with Kung fu warriors!

The axe gang take a beating in some of the coolest Kung fu scenes you’ll ever see. The axe gang regroup. The hustler gets involved with the axe gang. We see him as a boy getting a book on Buddhist palm technic… And then take a beating because it didn’t work. He wants to be a bad guy but it never seems to work for him.

The hustler has to kill someone to get in the axe gang. The decides to kill the mean land lady and it goes horribly and hilariously wrong! He ends up being stabbed by three of his own knifes and bitten by snakes! But something interesting happened then. He is back to his makeshift home inside a traffic light, and he heals himself through Kung fu. This isn’t explained to well, when his mate asks him how he healed so fast he just says he doesn’t remember.

2 blind masters. In an attempt to get back at the slums and there Kung fu masters, the axe gang hire 2 blind Kung fu masters to get even on the slums.

Back in the slums… the 3 masters have an epic sparing match and life in the slums goes on. But as night time approaches the blind masters appear. The 12 kick master is the first to fall. The tailor the ring master puts up a brave fight but just as he about to be defeated the stick master steps in to help. Out classes by the 2 blind masters the land lady use’s her scream the lion’s roar, to save them and the land lord and his wife finish them off. The axe gang turn tail and run.

The village’s mourns the deaths of the first 3 masters. The land lord and his wife tell them they swore never to fight again but it looks like they’ll have to.

The hustler and his friend rob a deft ice cream seller. It turns out she was the kid he tried to help as a child when he got beaten up. Feeling emotional he ditch’s his friend and gets picked up by the axe gang. He breaks out the number 1 Kung fu killer out of jail for them.

The land lord and his wife appear at the axe gangs casino and meet the world number one Kung fu killer. They end up somewhat predictable fighting. The fight ends up in a stale mate until the hustler hits the number 1 guy in the head with a chunk of wood. Number 1 guy gets angry and beats the shit out of the hustler. The land lord and his wife save the hustler but he’s broken every bone in his body.

Number 1 guy turns up at the slum village with the axe gang. The final showdown begins. The toad man cometh! The hustler dose his healing thing and become a Kung fu master. He single handedly takes out the axe gang then faces off against number 1 guy. Super fight kicks off number 1 guy turns into a toad human hybrid but the hustler flys down from heaven and crushes him. He destroys half the slum village in the process mind you.

Anyways it a happy ending for the slum village kind of. Some are dead most are homeless and many of them are injured but at least the axe gang are gone.

So what did we learn from it all? Well if you want to become a Kung fu master first you need a hand book. Then you need to get the shit kicked out of you followed by trying to become a scumbag because you don’t think you get ahead in life by being a nice guy. Then you need to start a fight between an axe wielding gang and a slum village with 5 elderly Kung fu masters. Get 3 of them killed then break every bone in your body and emerge as a Kung fu master. Simple really!

All jokes aside though this is a slick and cool Kung fu film it’s really well done the fight scenes are epic. The music is a perfect fit and the acting is really good.

5 human toad hybrid’s out 5