Twister - with many spoilers

Twister, from the Producers of Jurassic park and the Director of Speed is a family friendly action movie with a few romantic undertones. The Jurassic park crew jumped at the chance to have more actors drive around in convoy and destroy more Jeeps.

The movie was most well known for its dazzling (for 1996) special effects, particularly that of a CGI cow floating around in a tornado.

Verdict

My movie ratings consist of thumbs up or middle fingers as sometimes one starring something doesn’t shame it enough. 5 thumbs up = an absolute triumph. 5 middle fingers = a complete piece of shit, go fuck yourself.

Twister - 3 thumbs up

In 1996 I would have given this movie 2 stars but the nostalgia of watching a 90’s Steven Spielberg movie made it a very enjoyable experience. It felt like watching Jurassic park or ET again for the first time. But a bit more shit.

Favourite quote “You know, when you told me you used to chase tornadoes, deep down I always thought it was a metaphor” - Billy’s shrink Fiance.

Others:

“That’s Jonas… He’s in it for the money not the science. He’s got a load of high tech gadgets but he hasn’t got no instincts.” - Billy describing Jonas the first time he drives past.

“He’s a corporate kiss butt, man” - random voice from the tornado team after Billy’s scuffle with Jonas.

Favourite scene

On one of the many occasions the storm chasers are either driving towards or away from a tornado Billy and Jo hit full throttle and decide to drive through a sideways house. The car travels up the stairs and out of the back wall and continues to function. This scene pretty much summarizes the whole movie. There was lots of shouting in cars

Best meme from the movie

Analysis

I watched Twister in 26 degree heat during a heatwave with my fan on. I feel this added to the experience immensely. Hearing “Watch out!”, “Be Careful!” and “Hurry!” shouted over and over again whilst having the fan blowing in my face made me feel like I was in the movie with the star studded cast and I often found myself weighing in on the divorcing couple’s quarrels, telling Billy to just work it out with Jo - The truth is everyone's going to hurt you, Billy. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for. Billy listened.

There was not a lot to this movie particularly; people drove towards wind a lot and shouted. Besides that we essentially had to watch a man cuckold his fiance for 2 hours with absolutely no regard for her safety. I’m sure Dr. Melissa sat herself down on the couch and therapized the shit out of herself after that ordeal.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman was a welcome surprise. The character Dusty seemed like an unnecessary addition to the huge team we barely saw anything of, although I did enjoy his constant commenting on ‘The Suck Zone’. What were that team even doing? I understand map guy’s role (as the film was the pre-smartphone/SatNav era as proven by the ridiculous brick featuring an aerial that Dr Melissa wields throughout the movie) but what the hell were the others doing? In particular, what was this man doing?

I'm certain he had a vital role with all of the other background characters, who seemed to exist for the sole purpose of shouting down the truck radio system whilst Billy and Jo drove randomly into bad weather based on instincts alone.

My main gripe with this movie is that it will never be the best movie made about a Tornado - it merely paves the way for the Sharknado franchise. Sharknado takes Twister’s shit acting, terrible dialogue and liberal use of physics and amps it up past ridiculous. It was also the inspiration for this Halloween costume:

Here I am laughing at a joke from a hilarious banana.

The bottom line

This movie is fun, has all of the hallmarks of a 90’s Spielberg movie and I’d happily recommend anyone to watch it. It was however, a few sharks short of perfection.